Yesterday I got my Zombies Run! Virtual Race packet in the mail and somehow it made all the training and running very REAL. There is such a difference between saying "Yeah, I'm gonna run a 5k" and having the pennant and medal right there.
I do have confidence in myself to run this race considering I've been very serious about my training; running at least 4 times a week and no less than 2 miles. I've been able to get to the three mile mark in less than an hour which means my pace is getting SO much better.
And can we talk about how the muscles in my legs are changing!? I remember reaching down for something, looking at my calves and thinking "Well, shit! Those muscle cuts weren't there before!" Same goes for my front thigh muscles. I am aware of muscles I obviously wasn't using before with other workout methods (not counting when I was doing P90X). I can't say I've lost any more weight but every time I hit that 3 mile mark and get that runner's high? I am filled with such pride. I am not a skinny person, I always HATED running, and I had the belief firmly in my mind that in order to be a runner, I had to lose 30 pounds first. I dunno what switch flipped but I'm glad it did.
The best part is I am not alone! There are so many plus size people out there not only running but doing these epic fucking mega marathons! (My knees ache just thinking about those) Thanks to these awesome blogs that I am now reading, I am even more inspired than ever:
- Flaunt Performance
- 300 Pounds and Running
- Carli Fierce
- Fat Girl Running
- Not Your Average Runner
- Running Fat Chef
- The Fat Girl's Guide to Running
- Born to Reign Athletics
And the group of people on Instagram who are following me; some of whom are NOT plus size and are not judging me at all (at least as far as I can tell). Doing this has made me appreciate the body the Goddess has given me and realize how fucking awesome I am. I've gone from loathing this to LOVING this.
At some point, I do plan to get into running meditations and I have registered for two other virtual races: May the 4th be with you and Supermom. There is not a single inch of me that is ashamed to say I signed up because the medals are awesome. I mean, if you're gonna have a glow in the dark Yoda medal, you should EARN it.
The race is less than 30 days away now and I won't lie; I am SUPER nervous. I feel addicted to running but actually completing a race (even a virtual one) is a real test of my abilities. I think being tested is what makes me nervous. Also, running outside where other people are... In my two experiences actually encountering other people who decided to make a comment; one teenager said something mean (I didn't hear, my kid did) and some Jehovah's Witnesses giving me encouragement. I am scared of someone saying something nasty to me during a race because I know I will absolutely lose it and screw up my time because I had to stop to curse them out. That's just who I am because the girl who would go home and cry when someone decided to take time out of their day to oink at me (yes, that is a thing that happened to me) is LONG gone. Now, I'm a warrior.
A warrior with sore knees but a warrior nonetheless.
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